She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just invented taco cereal.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Your cock deserves a montage
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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