11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
