I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize