i think my tv is drunk
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
