We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
