and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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