The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
