i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
