Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
try to milk me bitch
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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