Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
