I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
