What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
