Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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