It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
