Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
