Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
