Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
