I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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