please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
