Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
