Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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