The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
