I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
