I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize