Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
