Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
