Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
