This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
