Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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