Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
