So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
