I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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