I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
