Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize