I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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