Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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