ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
