I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
