May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We talked him into tasing himself.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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