Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
