Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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