I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
