the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
