What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize