I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
