Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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