I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
