i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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