i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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