My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The air was thick with penises
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
