the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
