I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
