I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize