why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
