So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
