are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
